xxxNews Of The Weirdxxx - 13

Written by American City & County Administrator

Bizarre but true stories about real people collected by syndicated columnist Chuck Shepherd.

Neil Middlehurst, 49, who is blind, was ordered in June by the Kingston (England) Crown Court to refrain from behavior that had provoked numerous complaints from females who had recently helped him cross streets. Middlehurst’s apparent modus operandi is to touch women affectionately as they walk, while involved in a short conversation he initiates about sore throats and “phlegm” (and the judge specifically forbade him from using that word).

During the recent trial in Brooklyn, N.Y., at which mob boss Joseph Massino was convicted of various charges, several tales emerged in testimony showing a less-than-efficient crime family. “Good Looking Sal” Vitale, who turned on Massino in the trial (perhaps balancing out “Vinny Gorgeous” Basciano, who remained loyal), admitted that Massino once got angry just before a hit when a nervous Vitale accidentally fired his submachine gun in their closet hiding place while waiting for the victims. Vitale sheepishly acknowledged that Massino immediately took the gun away from him and told him to go just monitor the door.

Three of these four things really happened, just recently. Are you cynical enough to figure out the made-up story?
(a) A South Carolina man robbed a bank armed only with a long pitchfork.

(b) Thailand, attempting to acquire fighter jets from Russia, offered to pay for them with chickens.

(c) Former weapons inspector Hans Blix, in an interview, said he accepted high-profile, dangerous U.N. missions primarily so he could meet women.

(d) A Navy recruiter signed up a rural Alabama woman but then, on a visit to her home, also talked her brother, father and mother into the Reserves. Answer:(c) is false (as far as I know).
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or [email protected]
Copyright © 2001 by Chuck Shepherd

NEWS OF THE WEIRD