News Of The Weird-594

Bizarre but true stories about real people collected by syndicated columnist Chuck Shepherd.

In April, apparently dissatisfied with the many dictionaries on the market, the Republican-controlled Oregon House of Representatives passed House Bill 2416, whose sole purpose was to define “science” (“the systematic enterprise of gathering knowledge about the universe and organizing and condensing that knowledge into testable laws and theories”). A commentator for The Oregonian newspaper speculated that the sponsor, Rep. Betsy Close, believes that the definition will somehow halt recent successes by the state’s environmental activists.

Recurring themes:
(1) Most recent mother to fall asleep next to her infant child and accidentally roll over and smother it to death: a 20-year-old woman in Pontiac, Mich., in July.

(2) Latest convicted slum landlord to be sentenced (90 days) to live in her own dilapidated, roach-and-rodent-haven apartments: Sandra O’Neale (Los Angeles, July).

(3) Latest enrollment figures in Florida’s statewide program allowing high school students to take physical education courses by computer: 614. (Administrators say they can detect any student cheating; critics don’t think so.)
Send your Weird News to Chuck Shepherd, P.O. Box 18737, Tampa, Fla. 33679 or [email protected]
Copyright © 2001 by Chuck Shepherd

NEWS OF THE WEIRD